It is a month today since my parents stopped all contact with me and my boyfriend... I still miss him a lot but now its been a little easier to cope with.. But still hard.
   I was thinking last night about how he had that awesome ability to make all the bad things in my head go away.. His presence was purifying to my mind. I love him so much. I The way he would always offer to hold my hands between his  if he noticed they were cold. I loved it when i would think a loud "the sky is very beautiful today" and he would say in reply "Not as beautiful as you." I miss talking on the phone with him, goodness i could talk to him about anything, whether it would be "guess who's going out with who" or "Oh geez my pms is bothering me so badly." Before we were officially dating he and i spent seven hours on the phone with each other. I miss going to movies with him, cuddling up and sharing popcorn. I miss calling him "Love" or "Wolfie" or "Querido(spanish for dear)". I miss spending ten whole minutes construing a good night txt message to him, and not being satisfied with it if it sounded like the one i sent the night before. I miss hugging him, kissing him, and drawing away as quickly as we hear parents coming. I miss listening to music with him.. I miss having in depth, logical conversations on certain topics. I miss running my fingers through his black, curly hair that complemented his big brown,warm eyes. I miss how when he laughed he would toss his head back and smile real big. I miss going to church with him, or him going to church with me. Now that i haven't been able to see him i've been so lonely on friday nights because, no one else is free to do stuff.
     I don't want to be without him. Right now i feel as if i am missing a piece of me... When I think of him it feels like a fairy tale that happen so long ago D:. But i feel better when i curl up in his lettermans jacket

hmmm

so that hole in my chest i mentioned bout a week or two ago? its like its.... gone. cemented over. i still  worry about robert...and i still wanna see him...but its like...i'm healing... i mean, love, its great if you get a job n all.. i miss you like the dickens too. but if you want to know how i'm feeling read the lyrics to vanilla twilight.

CHATIMENT!!!("smite" in french)

umbreon blacky :D

omg seriously?!

i am like.. so depressed. its worse than it was last week.. I feel like their is a big ol hole in my chest ever since i have had to change the fb status from "in a relationship" to "Its complicated".. I am so upset i could cry..... i can think of a few things could possibly cheer me up right now:
1. If my boyfriend called me to say he had a job.
2. if my boyfriend showed up at the door with a bunch of flowers saying he had a job and he was taking me out to dinner because he was so sorry.
3. if my friend asked me if i wanted to come over and play spiderman on his ps3
4. If AFI were to parachute in my yard ATM and say they heard i was heartbreaking and wanted to give me a private concert..
5. if i got a call from Little Caesars saying i was hired....
6. or the simplest... if i found out Jade Puget actually commented on my blog... keep on dreaming girly.

its been a week and 2 days since my parents have banned me from seeing my boyfriend till he gets a job... I'm not mad at them, because seriously, he has had a chance to get one all summer and he didn't D:... So someone needed to say something... Oh well i guess it is a good thing because he needs a wake up call.. everyone thinks i need to break up with him... and its not like he's being a jerk its just that he's a tad bit immature and unmotivated.....
I'm kinda over it now that i've had friends to hang out with but now i'm just wanting someone to cuddle with D: