ups and downs

So this is the second day that we've been out of school and thats cool but there are five things that are bugging me and three things that i'm happy about
Irking things
1. Cabin Fever
2. Missning semester Exams
3. Stupid huckleberry Finn comic T.T
4. BOOOOOOREDOM.
5. no one to have snow ball fight with atm T.T

Happy things
1. SNOW IS PERDY.
2. TRON FRIDAY OMG.
3. MY DAD is coming home!!!!

So my new  profile pic is my christmas dance picture. It was a masquerade so i made my own mask. I was able to keep my updo up until sunday night and i had fun, but it wasn't as fun as last year. The only things i wish i could change was a.... well, blog, you should know that by now and b. I wish the friends that came with me would've been more into dancing.
   I've been remiss in my blogging lately bc i've just not felt like blogging XD. and i haven't been in autocad to do so lol.
    Truth is, i've been thinking a lot bout robert lately.. i miss him alot... But i've come to realize that i'm just going to step back and let God take control of my life, and maybe he'll bring robert and I back together. Not a day goes by without my thoughts reaching out for him. I almost think i'm fully healed from it.. and i hope he has too. Only thing I wish was that i could've told him that i was so so so sorry D:. And this winter is gonna be a cold one without his jacket T.T.
    I pray that he is doing well, and if i was to run into him into walmart everything would be ok lol. And i still wear my necklace and the watch he gave me, for without them, i'd feel insecure and not know the time right off the bat XD.
   I've just realized i've got to "Keep calm and carry on"

woot pool layout FTW

So this is what i did in autoCAD yesterday :D the things around the fence are trees and the box with the hexagon insie it is a hot tub :D

CRASH, THE ROLLERCOASTER GOES.

So this morning i got on a blog rant. a big one. Truth is, I miss my exbf, I'm hurt by what was transpiring on FB, and I really hope his family isn't mad at me, even tho that seems to be what it sounds like. I dont see why they would be mad at me. I did not cause any of this. My parents weren't happy that my bf was kind of rude with he was being snappy and his txting was rude. I had no controll over the matter. I fought to stay with him, tell you the truth, blog i pitched a fit over the whole shabang D:. Why do i write this on my blog? bc no one reads it, period. I didn't want to change my relationship status on fb bc ppl would see it, so i dont display it anymore. I feel sick, and the thoughts of all the drama is making me sicker. That lack of sleep has caught up with me and i will tell you, it sux.....
And i have the nagging feeling he's gonna txt me when i remember it wont happen T.T

Supergirl.

Members of blogspot, it is never good to take Excederin with instant cappacchino because it is like drinking three redbulls. I'M HYPER AND I AM WEARING A SUPERMAN SHIRT SO CLIMBING THE STAIRS UP HERE FELT LIKE FLYIN UP HUR. I'm in a happy go lucky mood and wit all the drama that happened the week before last I'm lettin it go. LETTING IT GO. Thats right. Im not happy with facebook bc ppl say what they want whether its hurtful or not so you know what?? guess who's not gonna care too much about her facebook anymore?! IM NOT. BUT IM LETTING IT GO.
Alright, so the reason why i took excederin with coffee was bc last night i got no sleep AT ALL. I went to sleep at 9:30 PM the woke up with confusing dreams wide awake at midnight. So i stayed up and read the last 100 pages of Huckleberry Finn and the last episode of my Teen Titans comic book. I had insomnia and i didn't get any real sleep till 5 AM....... aaand woke up at 6 T.T

hope unknown?

Yes, I'm going to pull a Lena(character from Beatiful Creatures, its a really good book) and quote some songs and poetry to let it all out.

"Hope unknown, Sometimes just waking is surreal.
I walk right through the nameless ones
I know hopes unknown......
This day never seems to end....
So alone."

"Real life goes undefined, why must you be so missable????"


IF YOURE READING THIS AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.


Ok, so im not that good at quoting such things XD but what i'm really saying is, I'm really upset over all this and i never asked for it. And i didn't go down without a fight, I promise. I really do miss you, but we both have to move on (Even tho i know that we both don't want to) Like our mothers said, we'll feel better in time, but i really really really am sorry. I would do anything to change this and i know you would too. too bad they haven't invented a time machine ne? But also what i'm saying is this: A lot of people that love each other may have to break up a few times and get back together. Maybe, by then, we could get back together. I want to. but like i told you last week, I want to date other people before i'm sure. and..... I want you to date other people too...... I've had two dreams with you in them the past few nights. Theyve been real and i was hoping if you were really in them since the last time i had one like that you maybe had one too... but in both of them your mom was really mad at me T.T. and BTW, you can comment anonymously without an account. but i won't reply back bc id get my hide tanned XD

So Sad..

    My parents made me break up with my boyfriend... Its depressing but he did text my friend saying he would wait till my parents no longer controlled who i dated... Two years together now two years to wait D:. But the thing i hate is i have to date other guys... there is no other guy i want to date... *cries*

So Happy

So last night i was really uber tired and stuck in a people flooded walmart. I was zoned out and then all of a sudden my mom says "Hey robert!" I look, and there was my boyfriend :DDD it was like the heavens opened up and i got a mental slap in the face(a good one). I woke up XD. I was so happy to see him!!!!!!!!!!!

so embarrassed...

Omg i am so flushed!!! so theres a guy i talk to alot in my class, and today he and I were talking about horror movies and i told him about playing silent hill and turning the blood purple so it wasn't so gory..... He just looked at me.. I fail at conversation.... then I started talking about Glee last night and told him how i was asking my friend if she thought wed see john stamos in laundere and he gave me an "Ummmmm awkward" look DX........ i am so ashamed...
And on top of that i got to talk to my boyfriend last night... Hes got a cold and i may get to see him next week. I'm excited about seeing him... but but but i'm nervous too!!!! I haven't seen him in two months. i'm uber nervous DDDDDD:

   It is a month today since my parents stopped all contact with me and my boyfriend... I still miss him a lot but now its been a little easier to cope with.. But still hard.
   I was thinking last night about how he had that awesome ability to make all the bad things in my head go away.. His presence was purifying to my mind. I love him so much. I The way he would always offer to hold my hands between his  if he noticed they were cold. I loved it when i would think a loud "the sky is very beautiful today" and he would say in reply "Not as beautiful as you." I miss talking on the phone with him, goodness i could talk to him about anything, whether it would be "guess who's going out with who" or "Oh geez my pms is bothering me so badly." Before we were officially dating he and i spent seven hours on the phone with each other. I miss going to movies with him, cuddling up and sharing popcorn. I miss calling him "Love" or "Wolfie" or "Querido(spanish for dear)". I miss spending ten whole minutes construing a good night txt message to him, and not being satisfied with it if it sounded like the one i sent the night before. I miss hugging him, kissing him, and drawing away as quickly as we hear parents coming. I miss listening to music with him.. I miss having in depth, logical conversations on certain topics. I miss running my fingers through his black, curly hair that complemented his big brown,warm eyes. I miss how when he laughed he would toss his head back and smile real big. I miss going to church with him, or him going to church with me. Now that i haven't been able to see him i've been so lonely on friday nights because, no one else is free to do stuff.
     I don't want to be without him. Right now i feel as if i am missing a piece of me... When I think of him it feels like a fairy tale that happen so long ago D:. But i feel better when i curl up in his lettermans jacket

hmmm

so that hole in my chest i mentioned bout a week or two ago? its like its.... gone. cemented over. i still  worry about robert...and i still wanna see him...but its like...i'm healing... i mean, love, its great if you get a job n all.. i miss you like the dickens too. but if you want to know how i'm feeling read the lyrics to vanilla twilight.

CHATIMENT!!!("smite" in french)

umbreon blacky :D

omg seriously?!

i am like.. so depressed. its worse than it was last week.. I feel like their is a big ol hole in my chest ever since i have had to change the fb status from "in a relationship" to "Its complicated".. I am so upset i could cry..... i can think of a few things could possibly cheer me up right now:
1. If my boyfriend called me to say he had a job.
2. if my boyfriend showed up at the door with a bunch of flowers saying he had a job and he was taking me out to dinner because he was so sorry.
3. if my friend asked me if i wanted to come over and play spiderman on his ps3
4. If AFI were to parachute in my yard ATM and say they heard i was heartbreaking and wanted to give me a private concert..
5. if i got a call from Little Caesars saying i was hired....
6. or the simplest... if i found out Jade Puget actually commented on my blog... keep on dreaming girly.

its been a week and 2 days since my parents have banned me from seeing my boyfriend till he gets a job... I'm not mad at them, because seriously, he has had a chance to get one all summer and he didn't D:... So someone needed to say something... Oh well i guess it is a good thing because he needs a wake up call.. everyone thinks i need to break up with him... and its not like he's being a jerk its just that he's a tad bit immature and unmotivated.....
I'm kinda over it now that i've had friends to hang out with but now i'm just wanting someone to cuddle with D:

Oe kin ne yom nihawang. thats Na'vi for "I also need to eat too." i scribbled it down on a post it earlier.. I'm sitting in my schools library waiting on one of my friends to take a break from library assist to go eat... o.o i've been hungry since the period before last ;_;...... ugh... i miss you robert already.

back in CAD again, and since my computer doesn't have microsoft flash 220850725984759873.5 i can't play any of these mindless internet games T.T. So i thought id go read some My Life is Average.... and i believe this is the best thing i've read in a while on there:

Today, I went to a wedding. The bride walked down the isle to the Zelda theme. MLIA

So fellow bloggers, I think im going to have them play zelda's lullaby when i walk down the isle.... like... ten years at the most from now. my boyfriend wants to do sunrise sunset  :(... i would like cannon in D

first day of school

Ah!! Im in my second period CAD class atm... and guess what? i'm the only girl in the whole class of ........ about 27 guys XD... but my girly guy friend is in here also so i dont feel so alone and plus the teacher is a girl too. i'm excited ;3. Next period i have AP english III and im kinda scared... i dont know anyone in there cept my friend kiersten and one girl i used to be friends with but for some strange reason she has a problem with me so she doesn't talk to me anymore... AAAAnyways im looking forward to this year. i'm a lot more excited about it bc one of my friends changed his classes up and now he has two classes with me :D

tell me if im acting all spoiled brat or not:
I wish my boyfriend would make or do stuff for me... like:
1. bring me flowers every so often (he never does)
2. take me out on nice dates (he doesn't have a job...ditto :( )
3. he plays clarinet AND saxaphone.... can he seranade me?!?!?!!!!!
4. get a job so him and i wont have to break up :(.
5. just.... be a man.

I mean, he's a super nice guy and all, just doesn't know how to be attentive..... This is just making me super uber depressed.... I'm really starting to think if its time to move on... If he doesn't get a job by the 31st, mom and dad aren't going to let him and i date anymore :(

Ugh..

Is shick... is in need desparately of sum healing potion....... This has gone on long enough! i have been sick since friday..

Best Facebook status ever...

So i don't know this guy who posted it, but he's friends with one of my friends so thats why the post appeared on my homepage XD. Since i don't know them all, i blocked their faces out, but, their colors coordinate with their statuses so like Mr. Red put up the status so if he comments on it he's blocked out in red too.